[Tyr Zalo Hawk]: 712.The Tyr Files.RTQ.Everyone Else.Sean

Sean: In real life, zombies don’t get harder.

Sean: With the exception of the cliff at the end, I won.

Tyr: She was a royal witch with a b.
Sean: Wa-bitch.

Sean: Brainstem… Nasal… Nasal Brainstem… you know what would be a good name for a band?

Sean: You know what you sound like? Turrets. You’re all peaceful talking, peaceful talking and then ‘KILL ALL THE CHILDREN.’

Sean: I’m not mumbling, you’re just not listening at the right speed.

Sean: Tyr! What’s March Minus 9?!
Tyr: June or July!
Sean: No, it’s September.
Tyr: That’s March minus 6.
Sean: No, it’s not! It’s… oh crap.
This continues for a short while...
Sean: You know, I don’t think you’re accounting for DST.

Sean: Just because something’s done on my bed doesn’t make it ok.

Sean: Oh lookie, I didn’t drain my bladder.
He pulls a blue bag of water from his plastic tub…

Sean: Your mother’s a classy lady.
Tyr: I heard that.
Sean: I had nothing to do with it.

Laughing can be heard outside...
Sean: There are hyenas outside our room… They are mating.

Tyr: Is detrimenting other people’s happiness.
Sean: That’s not the word.
Tyr: I don’t care! I’m killing Webster! I’M KILLING WEBSTER!

Sean: I probably shouldn’t answer the phone with Deathclok on.
Hello?
Whack? No. Ok, bye.
Tyr: That was fun.
Sean: The guy’s like: Is this whack? So, I’m like: Well, now it is.

Tyr: I think we’re going to listen to some Sugar Ray
Sean: Alternatively, we could not.
Tyr: Well, I’m going to.
Sean: I don’t think you’ve really given my alternative much consideration.

Sean: Everyone thinks it’s funny until the violin comes in.

Sean: You know what, I’m onto yours and Sarah’s plans.
Tyr: Oh?
Sean: Ya, she was back just long enough to get pregnant, and then she left do to some ‘mysterious illness.’ Oh ya, I’m onto you.
Later…
Sean: That also explains why she’s such a level headed person. She hasn’t had a period in months… Face it, I’m onto you.
Tyr: Yup, Sean. You even figured it out before her parents. And they were there…
I mean! Oh… crap… not like that.

Bishop Falss: I’m simply not a human. Just like you, Shurelia!
Sean: He’s a malevateil.

Tyr: It’s a teen drama.
Sean: Yes. It’s what we call… a trama.

Tyr: 4 minutes.
Sean: World’s fastest mile time?
Tyr: Snoor Flack.
Sean raises his arms in victory pose.
Sean: SNOOR FLACK!

Tyr: So, I had a Monster and I nearly fell asleep. I swear I'm ADD.
Sean: The only thing that keeps me up at night is Bawls.

Sean: You know Tyr, I bet you're the first person to ever walk around Missoula in a cloak, at night, eating an ice cream sandwich.
In fact, I bet you're also the first person to buy it from that shop in a cloak too.
Tyr: Sean, I'm probably a whole bunch of firsts in a cloak for this city.

Sean: Why must our children suffer?
Tyr: *having misheard Sean* YOUR children suck.

Sean: I wasn’t thinking about the pickle in my drink. I was thinking “Who is retarded enough to do something like that?”
Tyr: Sean, you watched it happen!
Sean: That doesn’t mean I knew it happened. I mean, did you see anyone ELSE put a pickle in my drink?

Tyr: So, Sean. Let’s start a turf war. You free Friday? We could do it then.
Sean: This shit better belong to me, or I’m killin’ someone.

Sean: Hey, it’s my GYMP T-shirt.
Tyr: You’re a gimp.
YOU HAVE ONE LESS LEG THAN THE WORLD DEEMS NORMAL!

Tyr is typing very quickly in order to record another quote...
Sean: Tyr, have you ever had a keyboard just beg for mercy?
Later, in the same situation...
Sean: Type slowly, you're gonna light something on fire.

Sean: No, no, think about it. Something ‘this big’...
He holds his hands to around the size of a doughnut
Sean: Causes an explosion the size OF YOUR IMAGINATION!

Speaking about a 2 year-old in MENSA…
Sean: I don’t know, she’s the product of an Asian woman and a Black guy.
Tyr: Ahh, so she’s like Tiger Woods but not at Golf

Tyr is reading a quote about getting himself pregnant…
Sean: And did you ever get pregnant?
Tyr: Yes. It happened in math class.
Sean: That’s what they all say.
Tyr: Well, ok so I don’t know where the actual getting pregnant happened, I just discovered it in math class.

Tyr: Sean, when are you going to bed?
Sean: I don’t know, when are you going to bed?
Tyr: Okay, I’m gonna go get a movie.

Sean: It’s like the Force. Stumble upon people are the Jedi. Digg people are the Sith.
Tyr: I always thought the Porn people would be the Sith
Sean: No, they’d be the Galactic Senate. Because a lot of people do it, and they earn a lot of money for it.